Dear Entitled Victim…

I’m pretty sure some will find these ideas offensive, and if so, this article is likely for you 😉

Let’s define what we are speaking about with regard to the word victim; Victim in this context refers to the soul who believes they are always wronged by the world. Everything is happening to them; nothing is their own responsibility. The victim sees the entire world as ‘victimizers or perpetrators’. These victimizers are always there to make their life difficult, halt their success, or harm them in some way. Inherently, this victim is always seeking a savior or rescuer to make it all better and fix it. Let’s be clear, I am not talking about people who have experienced real physical or emotional trauma. I’m talking about people who have created a persona.

Now let’s look at the word entitled. From the Oxford Dictionary, entitled means ‘believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.’ This soul believes the entirety of the world revolves around them and has no or little ability to see themselves as part of the whole. The entitled soul doesn’t believe they need to change or take any action, rather, we should all just fall in line and do as they tell us to do. If we, the lowly servants, aren’t doing exactly what these individuals want at all times, they are going to have a great deal to say about it and will often manipulate the situation to fit their needs.

So, what then is the entitled victim? An entitled victim exists within a space that only they can control. This space is riddled with mistruth and lacks substance. They control their world and ‘story’ by manipulation and lying to themselves. The very second anything is out of their control, they aren’t being catered to, or personal responsibility is requested, they step firmly into blame, looking for anyone to validate them, save them or fix it. I gotta say, this is a difficult soul to be around. First, they often have no idea they are a victim. Second and more importantly, when you come into their crosshairs and become their victimizer and/or rescuer, you’re in for a giant sack of shit. Either way, you’re screwed because you will be blamed, shamed, and/or falsely pedestalized. No one wins here. The entitled victim sees no growth or self-awareness, with their prey being left triggered, confused, in shock, or all of the above.

The truly sad thing is the entitled victim can’t hear you (“Hello! Can anybody hear me!”). A victim is unable to hear that they are a victim, and their entitlement keeps them controlling all activity from every angle so as to make sure they can continue to be the center of attention. The entitled victim has been popping up more readily in the healing space in the last year or so. I’ve only recently become aware of it. From time to time, I’ve come in contact with good ole fashioned victims in the healing realm, but they either figure it out while healing or find somewhere else to ‘be wronged.’ I used to be a giant victim myself, so I know what I’m talking about. Way back in my teens and early 20’s after being diagnosed with Lupus, I learned very quickly how to get what I wanted, take no ownership and wait for someone to fix me. It was through the deep and inner physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healing that I’ve personally done, that allowed me to look in the mirror.

But the entitled victim is a whole other beast, especially in the healing world. Practitioners are now faced with souls who want to take zero responsibility for why and how they are sick AND at the same time, tell you exactly what needs to happen in order to ‘fix them.’ With delusions of social media influencers dancing in their heads, a desire to fast food medicine their holistic healing journey, while making little to no effort to change, the entitled victim never actually gets well.

As I’ve encountered this energy more, I felt compelled to share while writing this open letter to the entitled victim, so that maybe, just maybe, we can begin to see ourselves and truly begin to heal.

Dearest entitled victim,

There is no solution to this mistruth in your mind. Healing is and has always been an inside job. There has been and never will be anyone who can fix or save you. In your quest to blame others, control, manipulate and cajole, you diminish your power. You take the eternal, loving power that you are and give it away, squash and minimize it. Did you know that this power is the very energy that actually leads to healing? So, while you continue to seek a different practitioner, a newer remedy, a short cut and a poor emotional-mental state, you’re handing your power over in the process. Hold up a mirror my friend, see the inner beauty and wisdom that is you, and forfeit the need to blame. Cry, rest, listen, be. And when you’re done, pick yourself up and get to work. There is no version of true, deep, and permanent healing that is easy. Let that go! You see dearest entitled victim, you want there to be a singular, quick solution while not having to address your toxic food, your toxic thoughts, your toxic life; and I’m sorry if this is the first time that you’re hearing this, but it doesn’t work that way and never will. My desire is for you to recognize the truth of who you are and begin the process of healing. Lest you bump up against the firmly boundaried soul who will forcefully and ungracefully show you yourself, as if being shaken out of a deep sleep. We’ve come to awaken dear one; this is your wake-up call.